Saturday, October 13, 2007
Hi there, dead blog with no beings.
I've received all my results and I'm so proud of them, I'm gna say. I got two 1s (math), 2 (chem), 3 (eng), two 4s (ss/ge, bio, lit), 5 (chinese- sigh, at least i didnt fail). L1R5 15, overall including CA, 19.
I'm particularly surprised with amath, chem, bio, ss/ge but it's a good surprise.
------ It's now going to be pretty emo(dont read if you dont want to)
I'm failing. I mean, not academically nor health. Other than the !@^%$@%&!$ muscle aches which are gradually faltering.
But everything else.
1. Friendship. It's all too superficial. My soul isn't part of them (friendships), but just my being. With best even, some things I find hard to tell her. Fear.
Other friendships, am I me? I've tried thinking for others like JL told us to, I thought of Seon again and it's tough. I thought about the things I've never told her though being my best, she's the right to know everything. This prerogative I honoured her with. Yet some things I've told myself, I'll tell her when the time is right. & true enough, I tell her eventually. Is that right?
Vballers, despite the past. (or what I choose to think they are) The lost championship. Now in court, I'll continue not finding that sole being and maybe cause mayhem again. One reason being, I don't want to screw my and our last chance. Also, another reason being, Seon and I are bestfriends. I did not choose to get close to her on purpose and she's not my bestfriend only in court.
But everywhere else.
& thus, there's no reason "finding" another in court eh? I hope you get my drift.
Ruby and Els, there's nothing much to say. I just know that we're there to hang out during recess, crap during lesson breaks, laugh but maybe never share. & it seems to work well enough. So I'll be there to compromise and fit in whereever necessary to make it seem blissful.
2. Vball skills. This one thing I've never talked much to Best about. Just the basics of it. B, NOW YOU READ & YOU'LL KNOW OKAY? Thanks :)
I don't feel like I deserve being in the team. I can't seem to spike my best anymore. I keep thinking of the day I just came back from Jav. How good it was... But it was just that one day and now it's getting worse and worse each day on.
He intends for me to play in the front (to spike) while Crystal will substitute me at the back for her receiving is waay better. Then I think, I can't even spike, he may be putting me there just for my height. Yet I can't even do it. & seeing that Crys has to sub me at the back-- goes to show I can't receive as well.
Thus, my position in the team is undeserving. These 2 days, the poor attitude and all, I apologise. For all I thought of was that "I don't deserve this".
Okay. Point 3 is crap.
3. CASH. Come on. Ive been spending way loads. & now both my banks have $1 odd inside. I suck really. I pity my Boyf next time. I should probably stay single. All my life. Haha.
------
I've a little secret. I'm a star. HAHAHAHA.
Bye loves. :)
P.S: best, it's been how many days till i saw you ytd! wahaha. & you've graduated. aw, ohno. meet me in tpy many many next yr okay. we'll mug the shits out and bitch and bitch and... bitch.
You then, MUST tell me everyth.
Kbye.
out to save the world
